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Friday, April 29, 2005 |
Well... I didn't travel..

Luckily I got a credit for my airfare.. Even more advantageous, I got insurance.. so being the Ijebu I am I'm gonna try and get ALL my money back.. shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit why not!

My sister had a baby on the day I was to travel.. I would have missed it nyway.. shame.. I'm still happy though.. It's a blessing in every way!

Still no news about the job I cancelled my trip for. The second interview was supposed to be this week.. THursday or Friday. Called the headhunter and she said maybe next Tuesday.. I'll be getting the 2nd interview but they need to schedule times.. I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO anxious.. this is seriously a dream job. Abeg make una pray for me oh!

This whole job search sef.. it's got be so tired and bummed.. I just want a job already!Can't relax unless I have a job.. even though I"m not seriously broke.. THANK GOD.. but it's the sense of career.. u know? can't be on too long a hiatus before peeps start asking questions and you feel like the world is moving on without ya.. everyone else is getting ahead and I can't get a measly job.. Maybe I'm going too high.. I've completely ruled out web design.. can't even think of it to be honest.. it would be like a step back.. that was always just to get experience.. now that I've been there done that, I"m so ready for the real stuff.. the same stuff.. just mroe of it. By God's grace something will come oh.. he knows best anyway.. Just wish I had a clue as to what is in the works.. lol
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Monday, April 25, 2005 |
When window shopping REALLY means Window shopping...

I got a deposit into my account today of X25.68 bringing my bank account to a "GRAND" total of X26.18... how much did I have to start with? well you do the math, I can't even utter or type the words..

Yesterday, I went shopping for my trip on Tuesday... I ended up at Winners .. I was there window shopping

Before Feb 12, Window shopping to me was going shopping with no specific goal.. just a roving eye in case anything jumps out at you and demands to be in your closet or jewelry box or whatever.. Basically I knew I could get whatever I wanted..

After "The Massacre" well.. things changed.. window shopping was a lot less enjoyable let's put it that way.. I stopped shopping.. no more aimless trips to the mall to "see what was new".. I had major withdrawal symptoms.. night sweats, crying fits, I mean I got the shakes anytime I had to pull out my debit card.. I was trembling so hard I could barely swipe the thing.. now, I don't even know where it is.. my limits been below the $20 minimum for so long the card itself is worth more than I am.. hahaha okay it's not that bad.. but shit.. it's been rough oh!

It took everything in me to walk away from all that lovely stuff yesterday.. at any other time everything would have left WITH me!

My birthday was really one thing that made me feel better sha.. my fam got me nice gifts.. maybe they're tired of seeing my hair in a pony tail every day, I'm wearing every colour of sweats in the rainbow.. ( pink, yellow, cream, gray, baby blue ) I haven't worn anything with buttons or zippers in so long... *sigh* I think they wanted to cheer me up? I finally got something I wanted for a long time.. won't say what but it starts with digital and ends with camera.. but my lips are sealed.. My aunty also gave me a Sony Ericsson p900 phone.. I've wanted that for over a year.. I was jumping up and down like a 10 year old girl.. didn't know I could still jump that high sef :D I got another amller but very sweet gifts.. movie passes.. I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE the movies but I'm always so cheap ( no matter the situation ) I more than oft go to dollar movies.. just cuz it's less ceremony.. they have midnight shows and stuff.. the posh $15 movies are too borgeois for me jare.. I mean I just wanna stroll in in my sweats with the drawstring swinging and some nike plastic slippers.. wetin? At the dollar movies I fit right in hehehe I can sink into the chair and just be lost for $2.. no sweating, no lineups, no one stepping on my good shoes.. yea.. that's my idea of a good night. The passes are lovely they'r for the posh theatres but it's all good.. at least I still don't have to pay!

We went to see Dear Frankie the weekend of my bday.. 'twas so nice I cried.. I'm a tuff sista but shit.. it was just nice.. also saw The Aviator and Phantom of the Opera.. They were both good.. almost lost it at the Phantom too. but it wasn't so bad.. I got to think.. I relate to him in many ways I think.. more than I'll ever get into with anyone else.. It was all internal.. I kept thinking.. I get you.. I know exactly how you feel! I think we all have deep seeded thoughts and feelings and when we see relfected back to us it's something scary.. I *get* the phantom at least I get some of his issues.. no one's fucking perfect and yet we all act like it's a sin to be less than perfect.. I don't get it. Why can't everyone be accepted for who they are? Why must we exploit people? I don't know.. I'll probably watch that movie again, seeing it made me feel sorry for him.. take from that what you will if you can read between the lines..

The last words of the Phantom... Some quotes from the movie:

WARNING!!! These are taken completely out of context.. it's not a poem and he din't utter these lines one after the other as you might read it.. they are each individual comments he made mostly in response to the other characters.. it's important to fully undertand that you read the last ACT In the screen plan.. don't worry even with ADD you'll be able to make it through.. and if reading still isn't your thing.. don't worry.. like I mentioned, there's a movie..!


Down once more to the dungeon of my black despair!
Down we plunge to the prison of my mind!
Down that path into darkness deep as hell!
Why, you ask, was I bound and chained in this cold and dismal place?
Not for any mortal sin, but the wickedness of my abhorrent face!
Met with hatred everywhere! No kind words from anyone! No compassion anywhere!




That fate, which condemns me to wallow in blood, has also denied me the joys of the flesh . . .
This face - the infection which poisons our love . . .
This face, which earned a mother's fear and loathing . . .
A mask, my first unfeeling scrap of clothing . . .




The world showed no compassion to me!




Too late for turning back, Too late for prayers and useless pity...
One by one I've watched illusions shattered . . .
Past all hope of cries for help: no point in fighting -




Masquerade . . . Paper faces on parade . . . Masquerade . . .
Hide your face so the world will never find you . . .

Entire Screenplay | My favourite Scene
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Monday, April 18, 2005 |
Gimme the loot



In 1960, a researcher interviewed 1500 business-school students and classified them in two categories: those who were in it for the money—1245 of them—and those who were going to use the degree to do something they cared deeply about—the other 255 people. Twenty years later, the researcher checked on the graduates and found that 101 of them were millionaires—and all but one of those millionaires came from the 255 people who had pursued what they loved to do!

Research on more than 400,000 Americans over the past 40 years indicates that pursuing your passions—even in small doses, here and there each day—helps you make the most of your current capabilities and encourages you to develop new ones




Ain't that some shit..? So it's not enough to hunger for success, money and all the pitfalls it brings ( which is MUCH easier to swallow when you're rich I might add ) Now you gotta LOVE it? huh! No one ever told me that..

And how can you love something forever and ever.. working with some people or working in some conditions can make you hate what you do.. Ihave clients tht email me every friggin day about some shit.. I hide. They make me wish I made coffee at Starbucks or something.. they'r THAT annoying. This quote ruins all my plans of wringing all the money I could out of every venture I make regardless of love..

Then again, I'm not even so sure how well this "survey" would fly in today's Bling Bling world.. I mean there's only so much Manono's a girl can be expected to wear before she's ready to step up from $39.99 shoes u know? Why be poor? I think it's a choice. Today if people who can barely speak english are richer than MY wildest dreams I don't see why I can't be as well.. I guess the reverse can be said that all of them followed their dreams.. bleh.. I can't box, didn't invent any words like "bootlylicious" OR have a booty I'm willing to shake half naked while croaking out a horrible song ( a la Lopez )... simply put being rich IS my dream!

According to the 1245-255 odds, it seems the odds are against me because I definitely would have been one of the 1245 who said MONEY! MONEY! MONEY!

Speaking of money, I'm looking for some!
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Tuesday, April 05, 2005 |
Girl please.. you ain't rocking no shoes like these!

Phew! it's been a minute man!

Okayyy so what's been going on in my life? Basically I'm trying to get some freelance work oh! Das abourrit!

Not much to blog about its just been life forever since I was on here yapping about something I feel I owe it to me, you and the internet to keep running my mouth hahaha

Anyway, there is some good news to report.. I made rent. Yes, these small achievements are really all I have to look forward to oh... bought some shoes at aldo on sale. What for I don't know.. How I could spend $30 on some shoes I won't use for months WHILE I'm strapped for cash just shoes I need a shoe-a-holic intervention of some kind. But shit, it's only $30.. I actually thought they were $15 because they were having a half-off sale but my shoes were one of the one's that didn't quite make the coveted "Selected Styles Only". I'll be so mad if it's onsale somewhere now and I don't know about it! humphg!

RIP to the Pope.. I was so sad when I heard he died the other day.. I honestly prayed for him to pull through even though he was so ill he always tried to speak and wave.. To sad for words I really shed tears that morning it was so unexpected! May he rest in peace sha. Same to Ms Schiavo.. I hope it was what she really wanted.. I will NEVER allow any stupid man to be my medical custodian as long as my birth mother is alive? God forbid. men are devious things! RIP to Jonnie Cochran oh... hope these rappers get their ish together or they're gonna start going to jaaaaiiiilll..

Peas!
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