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Saturday, December 27, 2003 | Christmas was on point this year!
We had a couple guests join our fam this year, tere was less food because we co-ordinated who would do what... my aunts did everythingbasically all we did was bring dessert, pop and crackersssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.. it was fun sha.. I no go lie..
probably my favourite part of the night was hearing my aunty say "you can catch a man with good dodo*" lol all this while I thought it was good toto* they were looking for? hum... okay i won't get pervy. A close second was learning about some pimpette named Erelu Dosumu... mehn where do I even begin.. even thoughsome might consider her life cautionary I beg to differ.. some of her achievements are prototype for anyone who considers themselves naijaCandy. period.... you've got to pimp the pimp and play the player.. that IS the NC motto and the closest thing I have to a code of ethics... so right now she's the latest additions to the nC Hall of Fame. I have yet to see a picture of her so if anyone finds out send me a link! you know the email... holla@...nC.com
good dodo = friend plantain that's perfectly ripened and fried to a deep fluffy golden brown ( not burned and crispy and soaked in oil!! )
good toto = the ill nana ( no explanation necessary here.... )
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Sunday, December 21, 2003 | I'm sure not every black person out there thinks the snipers are the "only" or "frist" serial kilers? It's my honest belief that if all the victims were black and poor and not so seemingly "random" that those killing would not have recieved the attention they did.
Why do I say this? I doubt I need to explain myself to those who KNOW there have been tons of other black serial killers who killed freely and without as much as even a 4 paragraph article in any newspaper. Why? Because most of their victims were black and poor and therefore dispensible. The few I know of actually kill prostitutes... black drug addicted prostitutes.. as is the case with Maury Travis and another one I saw profiled on A&E... (I can't recall his name right now sorry)
How sad is it that these men killed for months ( and years in some cases ) and did so under radar.. the girls werenever aware there was a killer on the lose and nobody else was really looking out for a killer for clues or whatnot.. but the minute a white girl gets groped in a train station a nation wide alert is sent out.. I mean I heard of one in Spokane or somewhere like that and I'm in Canada..! Itt's very sad indeed... I remember ehrn there was a serial groper on the lose at Harvard university or some other big name university in the states and it was all over the news warning all the girls in like probably a 30 mile radius.. meanwhile there are black women killers with free reign across and between cities and states that aren't caught or even profiled.. the police interviewed in the tv shows I've seen that showcase these cases acually admit that they never considered them to be serial killings at first.. and I can't say I blame them.. with all the FBI profiles warning us to watch out for white men who kill white people I guess they're just not bothered enough to look too deep into strings of murdered women who happen to be black. I'm not saying th epolice are racist but it's kind of irresponsible not to think 5 women killed in a similar style dumped naked, raped, strangled and run over by cars could even POSSIBLY be related to eachother.. especially when the body's are found steps away from each other at one month after the next.. go figure how they decide it might not be a serial killer on the lose.
anyway sha.. I just saw the Maury Travis case but it's definitely not the first I've heard of.. but certainly the most infuriating because he taped some of his killings and treated his victims like "things" and not living people with some serious problems.. I mean he ran over one of them with his car.. they later matched the tracks with his car for added proof.. which was no use in the end since he killed himself too avoid facing jail.... little does he know you really can't escape those kinds of things.. I wish we really understood what causes seemingly normal people to just bug out and start torturing people on videotape no less! This is really why I don't excuse R.Kelly shitty behaviour to that little girl as lightly as some people.. it has to start soemwhere right? I'm sure even Maury Travis at some point went from normal sex to just sick twisted sex where the person your're havign sex with has to be dehumanized before you can get a nut... that's some sick shit. it's a mental illness it's not freaky.. it's maniacal.
some other black killers
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Friday, December 19, 2003 | If you with me throw the diamond up one time!
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It's Jay-z... thaaaaaaaaaaaat's right!
okay!!! so maybe it was finals..? I don't really know how I missed the annoucement that Jigga is nominated for 6 grammy's...!! SIX.. and all for last years album.. I can't say I'm really into grammy nominations or any of these silly award shows matter of fact... but damn!
Best Rap Collaboration
Crazy in Love - Beyonce feat. Jay Z
Frontin' - The Neptunes feat Pharrell and Jay Z
Best Rap Song
"Excuse Me Miss" - Shawn Carter, Chad Hugo and Pharrell Williams, Songwriters (Jay Z featuring Pharrell Williams) Track from the Blueprint 2: The Gift and the Curse, (Roc A Fella Records)
Best Rap Album
Jay Z - Blueprint 2 - The Gift & The Curse (Roc A Fella)
Best R&B song
Crazy In Love - Beyonce feat. Jay Z
Best Female R&B Vocal
Crazy In Love- Beyonce featuring Jay Z
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nC's a rocafella soldier!
I hope he gets two at least... seriously! Those people at the grammy's better know what's up!
okay! okay! okay! which one(s) do you think he'll win??
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Friday, December 19, 2003 | a nice Kanye West Inerview
my bad.. I didn't even know the album wasn't out...!!
I might have heard it already and I might think it's an alright album... but I"m sure once it's "officially" released I will have an "official" opinion on his skills... :o)
don't sue me Kanye!
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Wednesday, December 17, 2003 | Jean Baudrillard
The divine irreference of images
To dissimulate is to feign not to have what one has. To simulate is to feign to have what one hasn't. One implies a presence, the other an absence. But the matter is more complicated, since to simulate is not simply to feign: "Someone who feigns an illness can simply go to bed and pretend he is ill. Someone who simulates an illness produces in himself some of the symptoms" (Littre). Thus, feigning or dissimulating leaves the reality principle intact: the difference is always clear, it is only masked; whereas simulation threatens the difference between "true" and "false", between "real" and "imaginary". Since the simulator produces "true" symptoms, is he or she ill or not? The simulator cannot be treated objectively either as ill, or as not ill. Psychology and medicine stop at this point, before a thereafter undiscoverable truth of the illness. For if any symptom can be "produced," and can no longer be accepted as a fact of nature, then every illness may be considered as simulatable and simulated, and medicine loses its meaning since it only knows how to treat "true" illnesses by their objective causes.
from Jean Baudrillard, Simulacra and Simulation
The simulacrum is never that which conceals the truth--it is the truth which conceals that there is none.
The simulacrum is true.
- Ecclesiastes
Simulation The actual musicians are turned into simulations on MTV which essentially snuff out their potential resistance to the dominant categories. They no longer have a specific historical context through which they arose. They are merely images on a screen, models to follow for other musicians if they want to get on MTV. The simulations, video images of the musicians and audio "images of the music, no longer refer to a situation which brought on individual resistance/expression. For example- putting gangsta-rap music on the screen completely takes it out of its historical and social context. In this context, the art was created as an expression of resistance to the feeling of domination in urban life. When white suburban kids see the videos, they have no understanding of the actual situational context- the videos are just images on the screen like all the others images on the screen that they see everyday. This takes away the "reality" of the historical context, and replaces it with hyperreality. By removing the context, MTV removes all resistant meaning. Pop music becomes a place of one-dimensionality. In the world of hyperreality, the lines between dominance and resistance, between high and low are collapsing. There is finally no distinction. There is a unification of opposition. Pop music becomes reified. read the entire essay by Byron Hawk
I was full of a weird energy tonight and finding nothing of interest on my bookshelf I decided to come online and search for some books I'd heard and always had a passing interest in. The first book I thought of was Simulacra and Simulation.. I'd hear about this back in 1999 when the first Matrix came out.. but for some reason I'd never bothered to look further into it.. anyway tonight I went to goog le to do a search whichinevitably lead me to Amazon and I got a chance to read a few chapters...
I can't believe how engrossing the whole theory of Simulacrum is and how comprehensive Baudrillard is in his explanation of it.
I mean sure you can see why it' so relevant to the Matrix in the advent of "hyperreality" but I realy think the book will have a life of it's own and go much deeper than the matrix ever did.. I"m sure the brothers only took what they needed to complete their ideas for the trilogy but I'm really looking forward to this read.
I should be picking it up tonight or tomorrow along with another book of his called Passwords.
I especially find this idea of Siumlacrum so interesting because I myself have fought against simulation when everyone and their mama asks me for a picture.. I mean when does the picture become more real than ME? and if you ( as some have said ) need a picture to get a better feel for me, then it's really the reality of the picture and not a representation of me you're lookign for.... I really believe this because people intrinsically want to know everything.. but are sometimes too shy to ask or are too bold and get shunned for asking forward questions.. so having a "simlation" they feel they'll be able to get more answers and better define this "thing" that is naija candy... but in the end all you have is a impression of me ( pun intended ) and who's to say that it's reality or not..?
But according to Baudrillard and Simulacrum their "idea" supercedes the reality... so really there are probably hundreds of naija candy's out there that have little or nothing to do with me! And each idea becomes reality independent of source and irrelevant of context! how interesting is that!
sim·u·la·crum ( P ) Pronunciation Key (smy-lkrm, -lkrm)
n. pl. sim·u·la·cra (-lkr, -lkr)
An image or representation.
An unreal or vague semblance.
anyway, needless to say I'm really happy I'll have this book finally.. apparently it's the last book in the city!
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Saturday, December 13, 2003 | Wild Child...

There are tons of rich girls out there,self-made one's even, that aren't as obnoxious as Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton. Even worse than her partner in mayhem, Nicole Richie is the wild child in question today. After her brief visit to a "drug diversion program" b.k.a Rehab.. I just hope she drops her addiction to heroin.. And actually I'm kinda glad for her and maybe even for her fathers sake that she has the excuse of a heroin addiction to excuse all her erratic stunts on that fake ass "reality" tv show... I don't know whose reality it they're referring to but it's certainly not any one I've been a part of.
The most preposterous outcome from this infamously flagrant show could be Nicole steering her fame into a singing career? OKAY! So before I found out she was adopted by Lionel Richie, I thought.. so what now? She thinks she can sing just cause her dad does? Or maybe singing is was only a secondary consideration to this penchant for public adulation? But isn't that a bit of a stretch to say you can sing all of a sudden.. it'd be different if she had the genes and last name of Lionel Richie but who needs genes when you've got a "name".. I guess this is what J.Lo has taught the kids of America.
“I’m really bad sometimes. I’m impulsive and always tempted to do things I’m not supposed to do. So I can totally see myself getting into trouble on the show.”—Nicole
It's like her and Paris' sole purpose in life is to utterly annihilate the possibility that we could ever take our attention away from them.. and that as a society we'll be forced to shower them with the attention their parents probably didn't?
So I'm left to wonder, aside from Bill Cosby are celebrities and rich people even capable of raising grounded quote un-quote "normal" children? And when does their neglect become a danger to the public? No seriously!! TV shows just because you're rich? They're stretching it a bit.. Imeanwhatkindashitisthat?
I was just revolted by the whole "Sonic" episode of "The Simple Life" last week.. I really couldn't believe all the asinine stunts they came up with just to keep from being "bored". As if boredom is only something the poor should be plagued with.. *rolls eyes*
I doubt I've ever been as juvenile as these two are at 21/22? I see someone like Britney Spears just taking the piss with her celebrity and what little bit of money shes made for herself but even she seems tame compared to Nicole Richie and all her bratty ways. Her attitude on the show from the whole chores thing, to so called day of work and, finally her making out with the raunchiest guys you could ever hope not to meet is contemptible.. as if she's bent on self destruction.. Don't get me wrong people are allowed to have fun and what not.. and I guess everyone has their own way but there definitely is a fine line between being wild and being a "wild child."
And just where is her father anyway? It's bad enough ( but yet excusable in the name of money ) to focus on your career at the cost of your children's mental heath and stability but now in 2003 he definitely has no career to be bothered with so I don't see how he can still turn a blind eye to all this bullshit? It might be a case of "too little, too late" with this child, I know.. and even sending her to re-hab in a private jet might not be enough to make it up to her.. yet, somehow I can't help but wonder what it'd have been like if he adopted a black kid? Would they grow up to be as blissfuly ignorant of the reality of life as these white girls seem to be? I really doubt it.. I wonder if he thinks about that sometimes.. and rue the day he ever picked the little blonde baby girl with the split tongue, carefully disguised horns and devils tail. Little did he know his great white hope would grow up to be a terror.
The whole thing is disturbing on many levels if you ask me.
That whole mess aside, I must give props to Nicole Hilton.. I realy have no reason to but I like Paris' little sis. Actually I know why, she's always a 10/10 when it comes to fashoin... I've yet to see her with her ass hanign out. AND the fact that she ALWAYS has a tight purse doesn't hurt! I found these pics :
*pictures pop up
** all pics swiped from socialitecentral.com!
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Friday, December 12, 2003 | Not really an official treat.. just a nice track of his new album...
self conscious.mp3 - Kanye West
*right click and "Save Target As..."
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Tuesday, December 09, 2003 | site update / grin-ding! / he's been a terror since the high school era
I can't believe I updated this site... I have so much to do... final projects and what not... but somehow playing in PS really takes my mind off a lot... I guess it's how people sit on the couch and zone out after work..? except PS and this blog are my virtual couch...
uum... I should explain why I changed and removed the email and guestbook link.. my fake ass hosts don't have cgi or anything I can use to do anything dynamic.. so I'm stuck with plain old html.. so no email and no guestbook for now.. I don't mind I'm such a nerd I can code in almost any language related to the i-net as long as I have support for it from the host but what good is that if you have a sucky host? bah.. I guess u get what u pay for!
Honestly, I could have done the whole bravenet thing for my email... but since I don't trust anything at all... I decided not to. You never know who's selling emails all over the place and I would hate to feed spam only to have to sort through it later.. because we all pay when people spam.. can you imagine how much faster the i-net would be if spam just dissappeared? And as much as people call me paranoid and what not I think it's something alot more people should take seriously.. never give it out yours or anyone elses email. and never use a webservice you didn't build yourself... I'm so sirrus. I don't even use mailto: in my comments blog... it's not a game.
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aiight it's 1:18am..... I'm so tired.. I sold a lil project for myself today... one day's work.. the invoice should come out to $400.. I'm happy about that... net cost: $0 and I only have to work 4-8 hours no coding... I'm fully focused ya'll.. just today I saw a poster that sparked a great idea to do an in-house project so I'll be working on that once I finish my next course.. Really I'd love to avoid doing any of the work... but unless I get some serious.. ( and I mean BOKU ) investment dolla's I'll probably have to build it and sell it myself... but the way I figure it, If I research it it might really be worth som'n..
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As I was leaving a second appointment today, trying not to fall flat on my ass because it snowed like 5 inches AGAIN. I hear my name... I don't know how'd I'd missed the dark green Acura on the curb I usually notice fly cars.. especially one's with phat ass rims and NO SNOW? that's money... anyway I was curious and I ran up.. it was my old pal T from like waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in the day... ok.. T is like probably one of the cutest guys in this whole city.. 6'2 light skinned... but he's a pimp.. and I do mean PIMP... like not pimp and ho pimp but just street pimp as in he's always balling, got a million girls, no baby mama's ( read here for more on his only baby mama my old friend... she died last year after having his baby ) and the guy just always looks right jare.. I love him for that but he is CHEEEEAAAAP I mean after we talked he was aksing me for change to park his car! lol Cheap bastard I'm like "you've got to be serious.. you're balling in this ride and you don't even know if I"m on the bus and ur asking me for a quarter! be easy!!" anyway some white girl in a half top runs up with this other dude I knew from back then and she gave him some change... that's so old-school isn't it.. living off white girls.. ugh I can't stand these niggas! Anyway so now I'm wondering why there's a congregation of like 3 black men and one white girl in one place at the same time? In a city with like 50 black people thats damn near a riot.. but when I asked he's smiling that "aaaw girl, don't ask me that" smile... so I'm like worefa.. we gisted sommore, and I left.. I had to come back 2 hours later so I asked this chinese guy what they all came for.. I guess ol' boy ( the one thatw as with the oyinbo girl ) think he can sing now? I'll call him M. Now, M's a murderer... and I mean MURDERER. He's killed people.. fought, kicked ass he's a bad-man and he's quick to let you know... we've know each other since we were like 15 and he was a geek but I didn't even smile or say hi... To be honest I didn't recognize him.. his hair is long and he has this thick ass nappy looking beard... I guess it's jail bird vogue or somem sort of ode to his rasta roots... Isn't it weird how fast criminals claim religion once their ass is locked up? Please! Last I heard he was in Toronto in jail(again) for murder and he left this city to get away from some heat... but for real I forgot the jailbird could really sing... a long time ago he was on Much on Master T's old show "X-tend Da Mix" b.k.a "Da Mix" but then he decided being a hustler was more lucrative... and there was another black man lost... I"m happy he's doing somethign with himself sha.. I saw the shots he took today ( for his album I guess ) so it seems like it's a deal.... I'm so glad I never really was a boy back in the day there's no telling where I'd be now...
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Sunday, December 07, 2003 | My Paper Chase Picks Up Speed
Gotta spend that, bend that, split that, get that. I love that, paper dog!
Please believe I'm on my grind... I got a joooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooob hahahaha lol final-fucking-ly! Shit! I was wearing my knees out faster than a $2 hooker praying for a job... mehn it ain't easy!
Actually it's been kinda crazy.. and maybe it was kinda obvious form my blog but baby girl has been stressed! Now that there's light at the end of the tunnel, lemme fill y'all in on my drama!
First, I didn't get paid a last week.. actually at first I didn't notice but you can't have under a $100 in your account and not know something aint right.. so I called my boss... He tell me my contract expired and i have to sign a new one to get paid for the hours I'd worked 3 weeks ago.. ( mind you he never told me this a few weeks in advance ). I was so fucking mad I trucked it down there the next day to curse him out and I fucking did too. I was livid.. I'm like why didn't anyone tell me. Normally, I wouldn't be mad but he and I had decided that we shouln't renew my contract past December. I really feel like I've outgrown the job and he can tell.. I take forever to do anything because Im just not interested in doing this job.. Like, it's been fun and all but damn I just was depressed that I couldn't get the dream job, MY dream job... anyway, I know I have issues... but it was even obvious to him to him.. I can't deny it I was just in another place entirely. We had talked like 3 times in the last month.. he's always calling me to ask why I'm not coming in and blah blah blah.. I make excuses but you all know I'm not stupid enough to quit right? So basically he'd have to do it because there's no way I'd give up my paychecks... You're damn skippy I'll stay on the roster until they boot my ass out, get security to escort me out the door.. the whole she-bang.. I'm about my money.. at ALL times. Being broke is childish and I'm quite grown . Anyway, my boss is just too nice is all. The poor guy couldn't bear to do it! lol! At our last "discussion about where things stand" I couldn't answer anything definitely I didn't want to take on projects but I still wanted to get paid.. go figure.. I wanted my cake with icing and all. So I used school as an excuse not to take on too much. Anyway, after about 2 weeks of not calling him we talked and decided it's time to just end it.. I'm such a brat I took too much liberty I know but Im scared of being broke! Anyway, we're still cool and it was really good timing.. But then,when I noticed I didn't get paid I just thougth somethign was up.. like he might have had it planned and didn't give me any hours for the weeks I didn't keep in touch.. So yes.. I was mad because that some shiesty shit I didn't expect... Thankfully, it was a mistake on my last contract so it really wasn't his fault but he said he understood my reaction since I wouldn't get another check for four weeks. He explained how I'd have to file my resignation since it would look better on paper or whatever in case anyone asked the official reason would be "because of school".. I'm like hum... okay if I'm being forced to, I guess I have to right? I really wasn't mad about that part at all.. I've been ready since October.
Anyway, so after that meeting I was to go back to sign my official resignation right... maybe last Wednesday.. I go in and my boss asks me to re-think it! lol I'm like.. okay! I'll do one more project and get paid.. everybody wins right..? Funny what he didn't know was 15 minutes after he talked me into staying and giving me YET another chance I had an interview for another job... Talk about hustling.. I knew he knew somethign was up cuz I was really dressed up nice and smelling up his office somethin sweet.. but I avoided answering coyly.. I just said I had a meeting.. what's his own sef? But maybe finding out I could get a lil more money out the company ( until January/February now ) put me in a such a winning attitude that I won the next job too! See how God works? From half a job and zero motivation to 1 and a half jobs lol I should say 2 because I promised to make all my headaches up to him.. and I dont' feel bad now that I know it's REALLY my last project and I don't have to do it any morrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre! What a freaking blessing.
Anyway, it all doesnt top there.. the new job isn't as cushy as my last one.. no working from home.. no making your own hours... it's 40 hours somewhere downtown... (ugh-driving through snow AND having to wake up before noon) I'm so not looking forward to that... but whatever... at least I'm grinding. The job descroption said up to 40 hours.. which I figured meant 24-32..? But when I asked he said it's a full 40 hours. Hum.. so my plans of takign a full course load at school wouldn't really vibe.. I doubt i'd make it a week with that kinda schedule.. I tried that once working at the bank in 2001 and it was just to busy I ended up only taking 2 classes! Anyway, like I said God works right... Suprisingly if I'd gotten the call from the registrar's office that said I couldn't take a certain class BEFORE I got the job you know I'd have been up in the Deans office going off.. but to be honest I was happy. I'd talked to my mom about the schedule and I wasn't hoping I wouldn't have to take all the classes I'd registered in but she talked me into it.. as she put it "just do it" so I did... with a lot of hesitation but something ( probably the bitter cold ) kept me from going to pay for the courses.. so I'm really happy.. now I get some money for myself and I can burn some credit this xmas instead of the pauper's xmas I had planned for myself just a week ago...
It's been a good week.. I'm really happy and all but I know this job will be a stepping stone. It pays the same as my job now does so it's the same basic shit-pan money.. but at least it's experience directly in coding... and that I'm really excited about.. plus it looks like I'll get to use some of the database warehousing skills I got in school.. and that really makes me happy. Supposedly, there is a raise in under a month so that better come right on the dot.. cuz I'd like to keep my braids tight.. I can't stay this flyy with no money....!
Oh yea.. looks like I'll actually be getting a project in the coming new year.. THANK GOD! mo' money! mo'money! mo' money! I'll be broke till like mid-jan but after that wow.. I'm good for a bit.
Since I'm blabbering my whole life! My aunty is here from Naija! imagine that.. she got in last weekend and she suprised us... her and another aunt of mine just called and said she's in town lol it was really cool.. I spent the entire day Last Sat with them and today we're supposed to go have Malaysian.... we were supposed to leave at 4 its now 6 so I dunno what's gonna happen with that plan. C.P. time as usu-al. But I'll be salty cuz if she doesn't come all I have to look forward to is some yam and butter. If I"m feeling especially motivated ( or hungry ) I might make scrambled eggs... but let me not get ahead of myself... I'd rather starve then cook these days.. I have a cold and I'm miserable too. all I ate yesterday was cheese and crackers... so much work to do... 4 finals to study for this week.. it's mad busy sha.. even frying eggs seems like precious time wasted. Not that it compares to Malaysian, but I'm sorta looking forward to the yam though... I haven't had any since naija last year..! I know! too long.. plus we bought it on a spur of the moment type thing on our way home yesterday... stopped and bought yam, scotch bonnet peppers and Ribena.. all we naija's need.. please believe it.
And if there are any non-naija's reading this.. you might be wondering "yam okay...but yam and butter? eeew!" it's not trust moi... it's not as bad as Jamaicans.. my girl eats boiled dumplings with just butter.. dumplings are just flour and water.. I don't get that.. but yam? it's the best. Plus, I'm doing this the naija way...
Damn, I'm in such a good mood!!! :D
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Friday, December 05, 2003 | "Unprecedented and still respected when it vintage"
There is so much involved when it comes to "getting" The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill than I ever knew... And, in case you're wondering, yes I could be referring to her album or her real life... Who cares that it came out in 1998 and she came undone in 2003..? Listening to that album today holds so much more meaning now that we know a little bit more about her inspiration for certain songs... "Lost One's" for example. I mean I think there were songs I never quite *heard* or maybe I wasn't ready to hear..? But now at 20-something I have a certain level of wisdom that I don't think anyone 5 years younger could honestly relate to... Life fine wines, classic albums and my a.d.i.d.a.s.* leather shoes...Certain things just get better with time.
Please believe Lauryn is a cognoscente of what it is to be a black woman raised in N.A. I mean we are more than hair weaves and fake nails...? She is a scholar fresh out of the School of Hard Knocks and on Miseducation you can't help but FEEL it.. and feel where she's coming from.. I can tell you that as a rookie back in '98 I didn't know it because I was still miseducated... Everything was "all good" but as I stepped out of the shadows.. I can today take her story, her words.. her life and yes her CD as an allegory of self-discovery.
BUT, she herself contradicts this... as the stories go, ( and as I blogged about a few days.... or was it weeks ago..? ) the whole Brother Anthony thing goes against what I feel she stood for.. what she was trying to tell every other black girl out there... That no one can raise you.. and no one will. You've really got to do it on your own... and it has to be a conscious thing.. meaning you could wake up at 35 and still not be "grown" you could still be in the shadows devoid of rationalism. And, you really will be asleep until you decide to wake yourself up, observe the people and situations around you, ask why, and then be strong enough to answer it for yourself in your own time...
The Lauryn in 98.. as I understand her today ( at this point in my life ), is saying.. go out and figure it out.. ask why out loud and answer it quietly to yourself. Hanging off anyone else's thoughts or believes negates free-thinking... and without free thought we're at the mercy of whoever may come by!! I might be going off an a tangent here but bear with me! I'm sure by now you see what I mean when I say so much has changed in the miseducation since '98 and '03...? I don't live by anyone's word. Dead or Alive.. Not even the bible. Blasphemous? not really. Even from what I choose to accept in the bible or any other verse/word written or spoken I know it's really up to me to interpret... and I know that's the way God meant it to be since he is the one that created and gave us two powerful means called "choice" and "intellect" that were meant to guide us through life. What's one without the other..? So, how could Lauryn for all that she stood for in '98 recourse the Lauryn we read about today? Back when she rebelled against everything that was happening in that time. She really was a renegade and since it might have been her last chance I think she put everything into Miseducation. She asked all her why's and even dared to say her answers out loud..! What sweet gall!
Miss thing was quoting Psalm 73 a nd when I read v21-28 I almost understand why? There'll really never be another compilation like Miseducation.. Nope.. nothing quite like it. At least I don't see anything similar coming even close. So few albums really condition the soul... The so called leaders of the new-school... like Alicia Keys.. hum.. I don't know. 14 love songs... How deep is that. I've heard her new album btw.. and maybe it's me and my impatience for slow, moody music but I think "The diary" sucks. I dunno it takes a lot for me to really dig an album.. especially anything R&B. But who knows, I might grow to like her album.. but as good as it might turn out to be it can never equal an album like Miseducation....? I know, I know it's unfair to compare one to the other but you get my point.. that there is so little out there that can compare to it. !
Anyway sha, I'm not a fan of long blogs.. and this one is starting to feel like a book.... I guess I was just surprised by how much things in the past can still be relevant today.. how time changes our opinions and capacity to understand.!
*check the archives for the full story on that: http://www.naijacandy.com/2003_06_01_archive.html
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Tuesday, December 02, 2003 | I told you she defy's webster's words...
who? her
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