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May 2002 June 2002 July 2002 August 2002 September 2002 October 2002 November 2002 December 2002 January 2003 February 2003 April 2003 May 2003 June 2003 July 2003 August 2003 September 2003 October 2003 November 2003 December 2003 January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006
Sunday, November 30, 2003 |
If You Go Away

by Emiliana Torrini - pumpkin OST



If you go away on this summer's day,

Then you might as well take the sun away

All the birds that flew in the summer sky

When our love was new and our hearts were high

When the day was young and the nights were long

And the moon stood still for the night bird's song

If you go away, if you go away, if you go away.



But if you stay, I'll make you a day

Like no day has been, or will be again

We'll sail on the sun, we'll ride on the rain

And talk to the trees and worship the wind

But if you go, I'll understand

Leave me just enough love to fill up my hand

If you go away, if you go away, if you go away.



If you go away, as I know you will

You must tell the world to stop turning

Till you return again, if you ever do,

For what good is love without loving you?

Can I tell you now, as you turn to go

I'll be dying slowly till the next hello

If you go away, if you go away, if you go away.



But if you stay, I'll make you a night

Like no night has been, or will be again

I'll sail on your smile, I'll ride on your touch

I'll talk to your eyes that I love so much

But if you go, I won't cry

Though the good is gone from the word goodbye

If you go away, if you go away, if you go away.



If you go away, as I know you must

There is nothing left in this world to trust

Just an empty room, full of empty space

Like the empty look I see on your face

I'd have been the shadow of your shadow

If you might have kept me by your side

If you go away, if you go away, if you go away.





I don't know what's wrong with me... I'm really fine most of the time... and no, I don't think I miss him as much as I thought I would at first... but I'd be lieing if I thought that what's come to pass hasn't changed me.. and more than just a little...



It really doesn't seem fair though that I"m defined by the cumulative disappointments of my life... and how can I in all honestly have hope again.. and again..? No, not again... I think the worst I ever felt was when I said to myself I should have known better than to be so open.. and to really be a believer in something that has no regard for me.. or my sanity.. or how many tears I am forced to hold... No, it doesn't seem fair that I can't let it go.. it doesn't seem fair at all.



I really have to be strong.. because it's not me to break down.. and I already feel like there's nothing left in this world to trust. But I still, and at the same time embrace my contempt and everything in me that was good and care-free.. no matter how regrettable it seems now. Because, to see myself today as I was 3 years ago would be foolish.. the only thing I'd tell myself is that there is no use.. That it's better to cling to hopelessness than hope.. that love really becomes a burden in the long run. That's it'll be easier to deal with the consequences of deciding not to love than to deal with a kiss you know means "goodbye" and not "goodnight". Seriously, what good is it if you can't have the one you want..? Yes, I've read this poem so many times... I'd cry for it before I'd cry for him.. and it just seems too simple.. that these are the verses ,formed from 26 simple alphabets, I could have written but never really could have written... mirror what sentiment I have left.. for him. for love.. but how could something so simply stated be singing my life with it's words...
comments [ ] | email

Sunday, November 30, 2003 |
a jouryney into the despair of urban life.....



Ijust saw this... photographers website... the images are gripping...!



Check out the verying shots from each month.... ( third bar navigation ) and of course the "STREET" section.. it's unbelievable.



http://www.artcoup1.com/
comments [ ] | email

Wednesday, November 26, 2003 |
MAKE IT BUN DEM!



G-Unit who??? Beg for wha....?



please! Mek una no doubt Jigga again oh! I hear he almost sold double! Run tell dat!



50 cent kan 50 kobo ni! make e burn dem...

comments [ ] | email

Tuesday, November 25, 2003 |
Why I love Andre 3000...



Got a sweet lil' darling back in my corner

Below I know I love her, but act like I don't want her

Surrounded by the lonely, but yet feel like a loner

Could be an organ donor

The way I give up my heart, but

Never know because - shit, I never tell her!

Ask me about my feelings I'd holla' that it's irrela'

I don't get myself caught up in the Jello gella'

And puddin' pops, that others opt to call falling in love, but

For the record, have you ever rode a horse?

Would I like for you to take me to Pluto?

I said, "Of course!"

But if you ain't a sweety indeedy, I won't endorse

Hans Solo till I'm hit by the bullet, so may the force

Be with you, and I'll hit you when better time permits

For now, give me examples of why you're the shit!

But how am I to know with the profession that I'm in?

And if you do not know me, then how could you be my friend?



lyrics from "Happy Valentine's Day" - The Love Below Album
comments [ ] | email

Tuesday, November 25, 2003 |
and you thought I was opinionated!!



http://www.georgemonbiot.com/





it just wouldn't be MJ without a little propaganda



Talk about boosheet! when I heard about http://www.mjnews.us I was expecting a something pathetic definitely, but I really had no idea it would be so lame.. believe me when I say, thisis propaganda and an attempt to sway public opinion.. which is very interesting since most people will either go there because they are cynical or because they already love him blindly...



Before anyoen thinks I'm on a crusade against MJ, I'll say I do hope he's innocent.. honest. I do. But mostly because I'd hate to believe he did molest anyone... and of course I'd hate for anyone to be molested at all. I also don't know what it would do for my phsyce (sp) to know someone I adored as a child and truly believed at one point loved children for their innocence would become a monster that preys on that same naivete... I hope he's innocent but not because I'm a fan. He is 45 and he should know better than to be running around with little boys, climbing trees and having sleepovers.. what is the world coming to?
comments [ ] | email

Sunday, November 23, 2003 |
You will know


(Black Men United)

Jason’s Lyrics OST 1994

D’Angelo - Michael Archer



When I was a young [girl]

I had visions of fame

They were wild and they were free

They were blessed with my name



And then I grew older

And I saw what’s to see

That the world is full of pain

And my dreams they left me



And then I got stronger

Inside of the pain

That’s when I picked up the pieces

And I regained my name



And I fought hard, y’all

To carve out my place

And right now you could ask me

And it all seems in place



Your dreams ain’t easy

Just stick by your plan

To go from [girls] to [women]

You must act like a [woman]

When it gets hard, y’all

You just grab what you know

Stand up tall and don’t you fall



You will know

You will know

You will know

You will know



And I know you’re cryin’

‘Cause it’s all in disarray

And the things you want you can’t have

It just all went away



But life ain’t over

Just grab the way and make the means

And the vibe will take you far



Your dreams ain’t easy

Just stick by your plan

To go from [girls] to [women]

You must act like a [woman]

When it gets hard, y’all

You just grab what you know

Stand up tall and don’t you fall



You will know

You will know

You will know

You will know




comments [ ] | email

Saturday, November 22, 2003 |
I told you! I told you!




What did I say ya'll....? I told you this shit would get people talking!!!

Looks like it's even dividing people too!



To protect the misguided, my friend's name has been changed to "NaijaCandy's Misguided friend says"
Also, whenever I said her real name in the actual convo you'll see three stars ( *** )



and of course you know who Bootyful | Bountyful | Bounceable defines right?! I'm too bootlyliciously sexy to be modest! holla! :o)







Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



girl
I was looking for you earlier





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



 





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



how u doin





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



watchin 48hrs, dem
no wan leave mJ alone





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



lol
he's alleged child molestor





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



what
do u expecy





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



how u take know
that





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



abeg





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



he's not





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



how
can u know that ***





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



nah I
have no patience for those things





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



see they have this
guy who os 17 who went there over the yrs from NJ who is saying that MJ isnt
like that



style='font-size:10pt;font-family:"MS Shell Dlg"'> 





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



the kid visited neverland
like 6x





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



he says he knows
the kid accusing michael





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



do
you think he moelsts every kid in NV





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



 leave MJ





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



let
me show u something ***





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



please





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



please





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



please
girl.. the boy he was accused of molesting is in 1993 is one year younger than
the girl rkelly was pissing on





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



one
sec





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/mjsearch1.html





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



abeg





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



***!
I'm so suprised girl





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



ur
supporting an alleged child molestor just because it's MJ?





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



damn!





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



my
friend is on the phone





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



siding
with you





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



naah because we dont
know that he is





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



so because some
kid and their parents say he is





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



means he is





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



?





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



I'm
fighting both of u at th same time





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



yes
but you're ssuming he's not.. I am being objective in saying he MIGHT have





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



bs





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



taht's
what alleged means!





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



it's
a maybe.





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



until
he's convicted





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



but media is makin
it seem like he is





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



but
it's funny how no one knows the exact scenario and are disregarding the
allegations





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



the
media didn't molest anyone abeg





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



the
media could be more tactful as far as hiring helicopters





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



but
it's a high profile thing





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



and
it's shocking new





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



and
its the most awful crime you could commit against children





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



whose opinion
matters? some parents who might want $$





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



ok we all know michael
has had issues over the yrs





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



but he's not
guilty until proven so





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



*** why
do you think people aren't trying to get money from him in other ways? if they
really wanted money there are better ways to scam somebody!





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



esp
if they've already tried that 10 years ago





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



and
he should know better





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



than
to be sleeping with boys and then talking about people are trying to get money
from him





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



abeg this is a
much easier way





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



plus
if you've beenf ollowing the case you would know that they can't sue him





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



it's
purely criminal.





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



no
settlements.





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



that
was the reason they settled last time.. they wanted to protect their child fromtestifying
in court





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



are
you saying u wouldn't look out for your child like that too?





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



against
MJ?





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



and
his verocious lawyers





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



they
would rip apart a little boy in seconds





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



oh pls





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



ur being partial





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



why
would u wanna put ur child through that





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



nope.





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



I'm not
./





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



I
might be speculating





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



whatever ur sayin
there arent money hungry people out there





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



no
I'm nto saying that





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



but
they are not suing him for money!





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



where
did u even get that





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



well now they arent





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



okay
then talk about now.





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



but tehy've hired
attorney from last case





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



so thats not
saying nothin





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



there
is no suit for money this time





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



he's
charged this time





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



and
he will go to court by law this time





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



and
the child is FORCED to testify this time





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



there
is a lot different





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



no moeny





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



well we'll see





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



we
will.





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



what happens





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



we
will.. and I'm very sure he did it





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



girl
pls read that page.. the one I sent





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



it's
so disgusting





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



sam
thing with RKelly





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



media biased





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



the
shit was so sick





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



so no need





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



media
are biased so you assume he's innocent..





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



well its america





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



innocent until
proven otherwise





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



so yeah





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



till tehy prove
him otherwise





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



don't
be silly girl.. the son that killed your teacher nko?





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



you
always have doubt.. at least apprehentions that this charges could be truthful





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



that's
all





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



no
one can send him to jail





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



that's
what innocent until proven guilty means





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



u are
entitiled to a trial to show ur case





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



but
it doesn't mean there isn't stock in the charges held against someone





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



tahts
crap





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



abeg
read this thing oh... tell me what u think





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



but thats
different, where's teh physucal evidence





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



this
was 10 years ago





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



abeg lets get real





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



befor
the interview with Bashir





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



oh pls





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



andu
will see similaritites that MJ himself admitted to.





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



we'll see





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



enough said





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



I watche
dthe interview again last night sha.. they re-aired it





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



it
was even worse to watch those confessions again





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



this
time around





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



we'll
see is the most objective thing u've said all night girl





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



so I
fit co-sign





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



we
shall see





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



u don
read am?





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



lol
MJ lover!





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



yeha and it doesnt
mean much





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



hahahha





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



the
part where he said he spent the night with MJ nko?





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



OBJECTIVELY
SPEAKING NOW OH





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



didn't
that seem eerily simlar to the confession MJ said this year





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



humph!





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



spent teh night
does that mean anything





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



crap he lets other
kids spend the night





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



wetin





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



lol





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



thats crappy
evidence





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



realistically
he can't molest every child...





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



assuming
he did molest anyone at all





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



 





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



even
other child molestors don't molest all.. they just fall in love with one hild





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



which
is very true





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



if u
look it up





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



they fallin
love with children





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



stalk
them





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



ok NMJ is a molestor,
u happy?





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



MJ





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



nooo
I'm sayign he is charged with it numerous time with a lot of suspicions to taht
regard





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



that
we know for sure abi!





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



girl
I'm just being real





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



same here





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



but dont let media
be focus for ur argument





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



the media always
like stuff like taht





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



i want solid facts





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



4get the media





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



1sec





NaijaCandy’s Misguided friend says:



brb





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



who's
talking about the media sef...? fashi all taht one





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



the
only media I can talk about is the interview with Bashir taht he participated in





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



and
even in his rebuttal to the interview





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



he
still said it again taht he sleeps wit boys





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



it's
a fact he's supported and hasn't denied.





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



as
far as the media frenzy that has no bearing on the case... and maybe a little
on public opinion.





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



but
as far as public opinion is concerned it's beena well knwon fact that there
have beenyers of insinuation





Bootyful | Bountyful| Bounceable says:



been
years
comments [ ] | email

Wednesday, November 19, 2003 |
NaijaCandy's inferno



So.... last friday, I was searching for a job doing something I actually have an interest in... as usual I went to the big boys in the city.. and I saw something very nice that I'm more than qualified for... coincedentally, I have an uncle that works there.. I wouldn't say I'm prideful but II usually just don't know HOW to ask for help.. I'm just not used to it.. but I realize that the only way to apply is online.. and to be quite honest that's really like sending a bottle in the ocean.. all you can do is hope the shit gets where it's supposed to go... Anyway, so on Monday, I send him an email.. he was actualy pretty nice and promised to follow up and help.. I wasn't sure what to expect... I'm a notorious recluse.. I never go anywhere to any functions or anything naija or otherwise related... if it's not school or work.. maybe to hang out at a friend or go to the movies, I just don't even want to hear about it.. when I do go out I never know anyone, whichmakes it even more painful when I'm forced.. and I mean FORCED to get dressed and go out.. all the up and down's my sisters were sewing in naija I made one ( we all go the same lace with differenct designs ) and it's the only one I have.. I'm just not even interested!



Anyway, back tot he story, so I was really happy that he decided to even reply my email and to do it so kindly was really remarkable.. he's probably only seen me 2ce this year.. and maybe not at all last year.. I mean it's pretty bad.. I was thinking he might be like... which one is she again? who is..... lol It's funny I really feel like nobody.. when people call this house they always ask me if I'm my sister. I guess because I had my own phone for the longest time, I never used to answer.. I had pretty much every means I needed to facilitate my seclusion from meeting anyone new or old... it's so weird to admit that.. but whatever.. anyway so, I was quite pleased he was as nice as he was.



Now, I spent a few hours with momsi yesterday doing taxi for her.. u all know how that goes! anyway, while just gisting about jobs and my search and all, I told her I'd contacted this uncle and he'd been nice enough to say he'd look into it... she didn't comment on it much... of course I should have known that ish would not... COULD not end there!! Ugh sometimes I really hate naija mentality.. My mom called him today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was like why!!! whyyyyyyyyyy? She doesn't think it's a big deal and I told her I swear I'll never tell her anything like that again! I mean dang... I know I'm really private like that sha.. and it might be hard for anyone else to understand.. well I'm nto really mad or anything but it just blew the thing up unnecesarily... it was hard enough to do it in the first place.. and the timing was just right since it's not like i just asked him to look for a job for me.. there was one that was perfect for ME! So now, if he isn't able to do anything.. and my bottle washes up on the wrong beach miles off course, it's not a simple matter of just rebuilding my hopes and sending out the next bottle stuffed with a well written, perfectly typed and slightly embellished resume and hoping the three goddesses of fates might be in fairer moods. But of course, that would have been to simple because now if he can't there so much more at stake.. thing might be taken more seriously.. I never really know what was said and all... so he wouldn't only be letting me down, he'd be lettig my mom down now since she found her way into it... oh lord.. it's the naija way.. nothing simple will do! baaah... anyway shebi we'll see... and so it seems to find my way to heaven I must go through these little hells...



"Poet, I beseech thee by that God whom thou didst not know, in order that I may escape this ill and worse, that thou lead me thither whom thou now hest said, so that I may see the gate of St. Peter, and those whom thou makest so afflicted."


comments [ ] | email

Wednesday, November 19, 2003 |
Mr. Jackson..



By now I'm sure everyone's heard! Michael is headed to jail... well at least until he can post the $3mil bail. As sad as it is I can't say it's completely suprising... hecouldn't have really thought anything good would come of that FOX interview where he admitted he still slept with little boys.. Surely, the police that had been denied a conviction backin 1993 wouldn'ttake tooo kindly to that.. Apparently he was never even charged back then.. so being the dutiful people they were they changed the law JUST because of Michael Jackson!..... It's not hard to believe they have nursed a grudge since then.. and it was quite obvious they feel they've trumped him this time..if you see the press conference they didn't seem too sad about announcing that he would indeed be arrested... and of course he will.. there is no way Michael Jackson can go unnoticed anywhere in the world.. which you would think would be more reason to keep your 12 year old friends out of your bed..? But I guess that's not as obvious as it seems... i's just sad.. after years and years of slurs against him he went and proved everybody right... and there will be no money this time... this time it seems we get another lawsuit to look forward to on CNN.. oh joy.




Because of all the years of insinuation against Michael regarding children and what exactly has been going on in "Neverland" and why, like Peter Pan he refused to grow up... I start thinking about how right public opinion is.. how correct it might be... Are we as a society wrongly accused of a bloodlust for seeing famous people fall from glory to shame. Or are we just very very very good judge of character? I mean is all the innuendo surrounding O.J correct..? did he really kill his wife and her alleged younger boyfriend..? We know R.Kelly really did it ( I mean the guy taped everything just in case anyone out there might have doubts he was a pedophile... but what about all the rapes over the years... Tupac, Mike Tyson, Kobe?! Say it ain't so!! How many conversations have we had in out homes, offices, schools, msn about all the controversy hoisted on us by celebrities that take advantage of their fame yet claim they just want to be treated like regular people...? Most of these situations would have never occured if these weren't very well known men. Yet they claim they are the real victims.. remember Michael Jackson's claims back in the early 90's...? And we all felt bad for him too! bah! They walk around with long faces and expensive lawyers... they leave it up to the public at press conferences or through "official" statements but all the while shun [some of] us that have judged prematurely and silently cheer the die hard fans for recriminating the alleged victims... and it's true we do hate these alleged victims.. because we loved these people at some point for doing what they do so well, we don't want to be wrong.. why would we desert them.. and who is this person that has us questioning our one-time hero's anyway?



Like everyone else, and just being as opinionated as I am ( I have an opinoin on almost everything in existence! ) I had one, and a strong one at that, for each of these cases... the latest Michael Jackson allegations just brings all our opinions to the fore front... do we really even have a right to hold uncorroborated opinions on things we talk about with the people around us - about people we only know by NAME and FAME? I guess it's an interesting thing because there is nothing more fun than defending OJ or Kobe.. talking about the victims.. no one says anyone deserves what happened.. but they don't always get a lot of empathy for what MIGHT have happened... and faced with 100% aunthenticated proof there will always be an air of disbelief ( of either party victim and offender)... I say this because thats exactly how I am.. how I was.. I guess we'll see how this plays out... of course we know it's real this time though lol I'm doing it again but it's whatever... at the very least, this new scandal will hold us until the Kobe thing starts up again... and if there is a lull we'll always have Pres. Bush, Iraq and of course Al Quaeda to keep us talking...! Which gets me thiking, could it be the news is a real-life matrix designed to keep us talking... going to school, work.. we're all keeping the almighty economy alive with our voracious need to gossip and judge?? I love a good conspiracy.. so why not? I mean it's not like we're ever short of things to talk about thanks to "the media".... it might not be a wrinkle in time but Earth may not be too far from Camazotz.. but I guess if that's what it takes to keep the maching running, we/they wouldn't have it any other way...
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Tuesday, November 11, 2003 |
I'm going to see the matrix today... If it really moves me I'll probably blog my ass of right after.. but, I just wanted to speak on the Tupac feat Biggie joint.. what was that about..? I don't think that should have been made.. Either we as a people are too sentimental or whoever released that album is trying to capitalize on their tragedy. I mean shouldn't people stay true to people's feelings even after they're dead... We know 'Pac would have never have done a song with Biggie at the point of his death. They didn't stay alive to reconcile so I don't see why anybody has any business putting them together just because both parties are departed....



And it's not just 'Pac either. I heard all of what Biggie was saying but I just know that shit was edited.. No one wishes death on anyone for sure but he knew 'Pac hated him and blamed him for getting shot the first time and I'm very sure he didn't have any warm cuddly feelings for 'Pac either. I'd stake almost anything that if he were alive and 'Pac had been the only one to die that he would NEVER had sanctioned that... People are just too freaking greedy. Bad blood is bad blood.. Why would anyone try to romanticise someone else's beef especially when there's a good possibility that at least one of the people dead died resulting from that beef..? Not everything has to be about love all the time.



"Oh! Tupac and Biggie" I'm so tired of hearing them linked like they were brothers or something... They couldn't stand eachother for whatever reason... I'm sure the shit runs deeper than we'll ever know and I don't see why they continue to play on the public's ignorance. Sure, we love both of them but we don't have to see them together on a song to appreciate their contribution to hip hop. How corny is it to see all this old footage like almost 10 years later..? The whole thing just disgusted me. Having them be the only artists on the track was so much worse than all these artists who feature deceased MC's.. even though that isn't as bad but it's still eerie. I doubt I would ever support a "Tupac and Biggie" endeavor just because I know that's not what they left us with. BUT what they left us with was partly negative.. Riddle that. Well, I think the moral of their tragedy is cautionary and that is all the message we need... it would do certain artists alot of good to heed that message lest they repeat history... How does that saying go again? Those who don't know their histroy are bound to repeat it or something like that...?



oh yea, speaking of fallen soldiers... I'd like to recognize remembrance day...
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Monday, November 10, 2003 |
LOL!

I'm cleaning up my desktop and I found so much crap... this is a layout I started and trashed.... it was going to be one of my "coming soon" splashes.... think I got bored and just never finished the html.. it's not finished but I still kinda like it.



And for this pic I found... why would ANYONE want to do this to a 2002 escalade... found this on some car website owners gallery... I burst out laughing lol it's sad but so funny.. like who's gonna roll in that? I think I'd keep on trucking if someone driving that tried to holla!

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Sunday, November 09, 2003 |
untold stories - Buju Banton


While I'm living
Thanks I'll be giving
To the most high, you know

I am living while I'm living to the father I will pray
Only he knows how we get through every day
With all the hike in the price arm and leg we have to pay
While our leaders play
All I see is people ripping and robbing and grabbing...
Thief never love to see a thief with a long bag,
No love for the people who are suffering real bad
Another toll to the poll may God help my soul
What is to stop the youths from getting out of control
Filled up with educations yet don't own a payroll
The clothes on my back has countless eye holes

Could go on and on the full has never been told

I say who can afford to run will run
But what about those who can't... they will have to stay
Opportunity is scarce commodity
In these times I say... when mama spend her last to sent you to class...
Never you ever play
It's a competitive world for the low budget people
Spending a dime while earning a nickel
With no regards to who may tickle
My cup is full to the brim

Could go on and on the full has never been told

Through this life keep getting me down
Don't give up now
Got to survive someway some how







You guys know I always say lyrics find you...? I haven't listened to Buju in at least 2 years... I never knew how much I missed that album!
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Saturday, November 08, 2003 |
I've got 99 problems...

So.... I don't know how much longer my boss is going to put up with my lack of interest... I didn't even go in at all t his week.. I'm just not even motivated enough to fake it.. How long can I continue to cheat myself.. ? And if I spend all my time in a place doing something that's not quite up to the level of my training.. how can that contribute to my career in general. I have to make moves in what I want to do in the future... I don't think keeping a job just to get by is short sighted... quite the opposite.. experience is experience.. and this is somewhat related... but after a year...? I've had my fill... I've scraped the plate he gave and I'm hungry for more....

What makes it worse is my boss is so nice.. and he knows i'm broke but i also thinks he just doesn't understand me or how I do what I do well enough to be kept, but it's like I don't like doing it... I guess i don't understand it myself.. but it is what it is.

When I sit and actually think about what I can do to get into a job that will keep me motivated, challenged and most importantly interested I'm stuck for idea's....plus it doesn't help taht when I try to look for gig's all they want are people with 7 years experience... The course I'm currently in should help.. I will start looking by November again.. send resume's everyday like I used to in the summer.... it just gets discouraging when u don't get replies... but I can't be mad either since I was applying to job that I wasn't exactly fully qualified for. You can't say I don't have hope.... So, all of this leaves me in the strangest position ever... I've outgrown my job, I have to leave it very soon and I don't have anything on the horizon... Either somethingis wrong with my approach or there really aren't any jobs out there. When I talk to my classmates in school or when I run into them around the way... I always feel lucky and blessed. Truth be told, I'm the only one of the one's I run into that actually even has a job in something related to our program... how weird is that... it's just so pathetic really.. anyway... I'm keeping my head up like tupac said I should... we'll see what January brings!

p.s. about the site.. I feel I should explain... it's not finished.. half the ish still don't work but baby girl's trying to get paid right now so this will be like this for at least another week... archives are working now... I doubt I'll be able to touch this site again till next weekend.. if I really really really have any energy leftover... too much other ish that needs to be done.. but I'm really happy I finally knocked this one out.. it's been far too long... and my promises don't hold water anymore... after starting and scrapping at least 10 layouts I did this one in like an hour then tweaked it over the past few days... it's a blog only with enhancements for my "treats" and if I ever get around to it I'llactually put up some of the stuff I want to treat yall with... hate it or love it, let me know what you think... as always nuff respek to my peeps in the upper right hand links box... when you see them, you respect them ya hear?!
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Thursday, November 06, 2003 |
isn't this funny... I just happened to surf a ltitle and found this this about the topic I just blogged about.. one good thing did come out of it though... I found http://www.mdcbowen.org/cobb/... and I'll probably start reading his blog very often.. even when he's talking shit it sounds nice..

I don't happen to agree with everythign he says about Gripers but we're all allowed opinions aren't we... I don't think people should just "get over it" as he's saying.. sure we can't all change the world.. bitching is good osmetimes isn't it.. but ujust have to accept certain things.... new artists will come out and htey might or might not sound like the artists you USED to like that have now retired.. I mean if Jigga really goes I doubt I could ever love anyoen as much as him or biggie... why? because I'll never be 16 again.. that's why... anyone I hear now will haev to appeal to a 20year old.. or 30 or 40 God willing. I hate it as much as the next person but taht's life so yea maybe I do agree after all, get over it!
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Thursday, November 06, 2003 |
Hardly a day on OKP passes without the mention of Talib Kweli, D'Angelo, The Roots and the ever popular Common Sense.
Their "real" love for music.. their being "backpackers" (whatever the heck that means) and a whole bunch of other rants about how they are the "true hip hop... " Ok.. so OKP is their stomping ground... but there are lots of people out there with stank attitudes like that..

A lot of people on there put on airs on other artists, like nelly, just because they come with a different type of hip hop.. I don't get that. It's as if some people think they are part of an elite group in charge of dictating to everyone else what real hip hop is and what real hip hop fans "should" like... they say nah we don't hate anyone but they don't compare to so and so because so and so is "real" rap.. Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't anyone with a record deal trying to get at some money? I mean if people were really rapping strictly for the love of it they really wouldn't need to press an album and go on tour or any of that right? they'd be happy and content in their mom's basement rapping in the mirror or somthing.. so who out there can have anything against anyone trying to get some money..

An artist who thinks they have something to give to certain heads, whoever might show them love or whoever might feel them on a particular subject. Isn't that what music's all about anyway.. trying to connect with someone else..? Write a song to make people dance, displace reality, extend bliss, seek a revolution, make people sad, happy, make 'em wanna make luv or just str8 fuck. A good song'll make you get a lil high, make you think you're a pimp till you start walking with a swagger. That's good music to me even outside of hip hop..

I'm sure when he was nearing the peak of his career, people might have been against Bob Marley... but how can you hate a man who wrote Redemption Song..? I mean he's released some of the best selling albums, every one knows the song from start to finish - white or black. Who remembers the people who didn't think he was "real" reggae music because he took it to another level..? Where are they now? and more imnportantly where are the artsits they DID think were real? ansa dat! It's about the feeling you get to me it's not about how obscure the artist is.. it's not about being in touch with the underground because you hate mainstream.. sure it's weird seeing artists sell out, over styled and totally molded into what the record labels think rappers should talk like, look like, rap like e.t.c... Actually Andre 3000 talked about somethinglike that in XXL... he said the stylists and super-producers are killing hip hop... and i have to agree with them.. how many times do you have to hear a neptune's track before even the lyrics seem stale..? Sure its catchy but it feels like u just heard it a few months ago.. Not to say the artists on those tracks might not have anything to say but I'm saying if you're looking for something to hate in hip hip today that's something to attack.. look at Chingy.. I think he's alright but he doesnt really come off as real to me. His first video should have been for someone established.. they have 100 girls in there acting like Chingy is already somebody.. please. Sure I can tell he's another cookie cutter rapper but that doesn't mean he doesn't have something rleelvant to say.. doesn't mean he can't prove he's about more than fur throwbacks and that stupid chicken head dance.. I like the guy but the machine behind him I have to question.. but who can blame him for taking his shot? not me...

About the stylists thing, i remember when Left eye had her condom in her eye, when brandy had her braids, even Kwame with them polka dots.. that's before my time but it's an anology that's lasted even since his popularity abated. Arsits truly did have their own style back then.. now if you don't look too closely it's hard to tell just who is who... I think it was Naughty by Nature that said if u just put ur tv on mute it's hard to tell where one video ends and other begin... why? because there are like 4 producer's everyone goes to. Sure, they're talented brothers but how creative can they be when people want the same shit the last nigga that blew up had? bah.. anyway sure hip hop has changed but holding certan rappers in contempt just beause they happen to be more successful than other artsits u love can hardly help... what did Jigga say about doing numbers like the roots...? I mean if he had done another Resaonable Doubt would he be 9 years strong? Would he have really built an empire..? And then even if he'd dissappeared into obscurity backin 96 wouldn't it be because he wasn't a versatile artist..? If you say you can rap... prove it.. rap about something totally different.. show and prove...

Anyway, we'll se where hip hop goes... which rapper will be next to do a song with JLo... or have an on-air sesssion with Farakkhan to sell records... does ODB a.k.a Big Baby Jesus a.k.a. Dirt mcGirt still have it...? did he ever...? stay tuned... same candy time same candy url..
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Wednesday, November 05, 2003 |
THE BLACK ALBUM

What more can I say? I'll post a review later!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's hot so far... The album will be in stores on the 28th....

I was going to put the tracklisting up on here... I did it somewhere else.. but I don't think I'll be doing it.. honestly, the albumis good enough to be bought... but enough politics. I'm gone!



Happy Birthday to chocl8Deluxe or whatever online name you're using right now! 20? Damn!
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Monday, November 03, 2003 |
outkast...

http://www.rollingstone.com/features/featuregen.asp?pid=2019

I can't believe they sold 3 million albums already... shit! I'm so proud of both of them.. I can't even call then a group anymore for some reason.. maybe because they don't act like a group if this article is anythign to go by.

The way they got down on their last album was just like perfect symmetry.. one verse set off the next. but now with entire songs of just Big boi or just Andre 300.. it's not as sweet but it's still good in it's own way.. I'm really happy for them for real I own every outkast album except the first one.. back then I didn't even have a CD player! Aside from their success though, I think Andre300 is acting like a brat.. I don't want to get on him for wanting to try different things.. it's the curse of being an artist.. people hate you for changing the formula but you need change so u don't get stangant.. yea yea I get it. Trust me, I battle with somethign similar almost everyday. But, still it's weird how he's talking about himself and only himself.. when he talks about Erykah he talks about himself.. outkast's future, it's all about himand his lack of interest.. he's too selfsih.. I don't think he realizes it's not really all about him all the damn time... I like how Big Boi is always just an ocean of cool clamness... I just love his realism.. I can even feel it through that article.. you don't even need to say much.. just plug your album and be on you way.. it's sad that for most of the article he has to explain what Andre 300 is talking about... he's worth more than just damage control... but who else is going to do it... I mean, does an outkast fan really want to hear you might not be touring..? we don't want to hear any tantrums we've all had it with spoilt celebrities and ghetto superstars..
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Monday, November 03, 2003 |
my take on the whole Ja rule louis farrakhan "interview"

what the fuck was all that about? I kept thinking it was some sort of joke.. both of them lamenting and going on and on about nothing in particular... hip hop is in trouble.. my foot. Hip hop was in trouble before there was any beef between those two.. Where was Farakkhan then? Mater of fact Ja was all for the state of hip hop when he was disrepsecitng owmena nd promoting gun play.. what a hypocrite. Hip hop is way bigger than some beef and these guys aren't even the biggest rappers in the game.. well 50 is but people hardly remember Ja...


Aside from Farakkhans' inarticulate blabbering what really made the whole thing stomach turning was the fact that it was aired on the same day Ja's new album dropped. To add insult to injury, they play the commercials of this new CD in between all Rarakkhans rantings of changing the world and all his conspiracy theories about the US govenrment and TIenaman square... WHat bullshit.. I wish BET hadn't aired taht shit.. especially during 106 and park.. I would have rather watched another stupid video from Marques Houston and I hate that little nigga.

They insult the public when they do things like that..obviously this was highly orchestrated... they should have done this way back in march not just before his album drops.. what's that about? Plus it's not like he didn't put out his own adis tracks.. just because they didn't get lots of play whose fault is that... I don't even believe Ja Rule.. it doesn't mean I condone what 50 did and all but it's not that big a deal.. seriously... neither of them are tellign the truth anyway I just get that feeling.. I think 50 is so over the beef thing because he knew he didn't need it anymore.. and yes he did need the drama to make sales at first BUT you could tel it was a heartfelt hatred AND it was a welcome change to hear some real rap in stead of sing-songy rap that Ja Rule kept ramming down our throuats.. he was getting way ahead of himself with that "it's murdaaaaaaaa" shit. Like we weren't already sick of it even before 50's Wanksta dropped? please.. the Jlo song was the limit for me.. I'd never miss Ja if he never did another record.. I was like damn this lil nigga's every where.. then mesmirize dropped with a jacked beat.. I'm like wtf? Ja doesn't say much everythign is a love song... I miss biggie's kinda rap I miss tupac's kinda rap I love that jay Z is true to his shit and didn't start singing and crying on video... I'm a girl but I love me some real fucking hardcore rappers.. Ja was all about selling records but all these people were trying to stay true to some ideal.. I don't get that from Ja.. I get it more from 50... sure he's all about selling records but when I hear him rap, it's exciting, it's real. There's just somethign raw I haven't felt from many new rappers ( except the clipse ) anyway.. I just hope no one's buying the propoganda Ja's carefully cooking up... and What was Louis Farakkhan talking about...? He's supposed to be talking about spirituality and he's talking about "how did the beef begin" for one, he shouldn't even be using the word "beef"... nah I wasn't buying it he didn't say anything deep or profound it was allll jibberish to me....

The whole trick was a ploy to sell Ja's shit and make 50 look like the bad guy.. I know they think the public is shifty and maybe we are in all honesty but rappers come in all flavours we're allowed to switch aren't we..? I don't knwo what Farakkhan was talking about but it's really just music... to me anyway.. I'm not caught up in ghetto mentlity thinking I"m going to hate one rapper because of another.. If thatw as true no one would like nas.. he's had beef with every fucking rapper alive.. same goes for Tupac.. he hated EVERYBODY.. if Pac was alive today he's be in some beef for SURE... doesn't mean we'll hate him or his enemies... I think Frakkhan just beliettleed everyone involved by saying Ja rule and 50 have some sort of power over us... oh please.. they're the leaders.. they have the oppurtunity to blah blah blah I've never seen a rapper in the last 8 years make any kind of political statement or even real sense. MOst of the time they're caught up in their little wars about who'e more "street" than the other.. tell me how that's really helping balck people.. How are rappers paving the way for any black person in America or outside of Amercia for that fact. Bah... I have my hwole theory on rap vs. reality but it's really nothing to do ith Ja or 50.. or even Frrakhan for that matter who ceased being relevant a long fucking time ago.
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