Tuesday, February 25, 2003 |
Today's quote:
I'm nine hundred and ninety nine thou from being rich - nas
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Friday, February 14, 2003 | Valentine's Day.... Bleh!!!
Caramel - Suzanne Vega.
It won't do
to dream of caramel,
to think of cinnamon
and long for you.
It won't do
to stir a deep desire,
to fan a hidden fire
that can never burn true.
I know your name,
I know your skin,
I know the way
these things begin;
But I don't know
how I would live with myself,
what I'd forgive of myself
if you don't go.
So goodbye,
sweet appetite,
no single bite
could satisfy...
I know your name,
I know your skin,
I know the way
these things begin;
But I don't know
what I would give of myself,
how I would live with myself
if you don't go.
It won't do
to dream of caramel,
to think of cinnamon
and long
for you.
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Wednesday, February 12, 2003 | it's been a weird 24 hours for me... last night.. while I was watching TV/half aslep a splice of time flashed in my mind.. I was in traffic and someone cut me off.. I didn't see them in time and before I coudl even react I woke up in a start! eyes wide open i was wide awake.. I didn't know what to make of it.. I put off my TV and fell asleep. This monrning I had a meeting very early.. in fact it was horribly early I had to get up at 3am to finish off that project so I could take the day to handle other things... anyway so 9:30 after what would be almost a full day of work I satrted another day! I went to my meeting drove around real quick then I got another call reminding me I had another meeting at noon.. luckily I was close by so I lied and said I remembered :o) I got some lunch an dheaded there... blah blah blah
2 hours later I went window shopping downtown.. I really did it to ak off my lunch and get some fresh air and excsercise.. it took me another hour and a half before I got to my car.. paid for parking ( $7.50 ) I was scared I wouldn't have change.. I was in my seat cushions and everything... I was so shamed! Annnnyway back to the real gist.. on my way out of downtwon I'm feelign very elated and happy... 112 was playing and I was just feeling NICE... I saw the train/tube/subway whatever you call it in ur part of the world.. it was stopped there were fire trucks and police cars blocking the train crossing... I stared at it.. I don't know why I wasn't irrtated at the traffic diversion.. but I just stared str8 ahead and for some reason I felt soooo sad.. lie I'd hit bottom... it was almost like I was going to cry.. I didn't understand it at the time.. later down the road ( literally ) I figured it might have been guilt..? that I was having such a great day.. meanwhile someone might have just died... I had mixed emotions until I got home.. but by the time I parked at home I was feeling aight..
of course, as soon as I walked in there were messages like crazy.. my computer was still on from the morning ( time was circa 3:30pm ) and I was tired... it was totally out of my mind.. I returned some calls.. stripped... did my whole "just walked in the door" routine... anyway much much later on we ewere watchng news ( actually waiting on American Idol ) and the news flash came on.. reporting the train accident.. my sis had said she's been worried about e being n the accident.. I said nah.. but I saw it.. we listened.. we were both quiet cuz it was sad.. an old lady in her 70's was the victim.. she had just been grocery shopping and on her way home.. I guess she didn't hear the train..? She had blunt head trauma and was bleeding in her head.. it's such a sad thing.. ok.. so about an hour later... it hit me...! was that what ha dflashed in my head the night before...? I hadn't even put the two together.. so I tried to think about it... remember what exactly had flashed in my mind the night before.. all I'd seen was something cut in front of me ( like a car ) I drive a little car and anyone that drives a little car will understand how annoying it is for these huge trucks tha think they own the road.. anyway it was bigger than my car for sure.. and it cam eout of no where.. and I didn't have time to react.. that's all I remembered.. now I'm so spooked at this coincedence.. like did I really see it before it happened.. or is it some strange coincedenceeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?
I'm telling u it's really dsiturbing because this woman will die.. I remembered how odd it was that I'd been very saddened at just SEEING the train stopped.. I was down the road but you know I had to stop and stare.. it was really a moment.. the whole thing has me spooked I tell ya... you jut never know what gets thrown ur way you know... I mean.. it might be a coincedence.. but what if it's not...??? Am I conected to this old lady...? I dunno.. the whole thing is really weird.. when I told my sis she said "I don't know.." I feel the same way..
On a brighter note... I was in Holt Renfrew looking for the new Vera Wang perfume..? I'ts the only store in the city that has it right now.. but just standing there waiting for the sales lady, I fell in love with the new Gucci fragrance... aaaaaaaw it's so businessy.. perfect for rolling with the white boys in suits downtown and stuff... u know..? not too romantic.. but sexy and dark... it's hard to describe.. it's like the opposite of flowers.. it' s more of a "gimme some room" scent... I just love it! I have to have it!!!
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Tuesday, February 11, 2003 | life sux... big time.. I think I'm getting bored with my work..? is something wrong with me..? it was just a few short months ago I was craving for any kind of work.. and now I'm far from interested. The things or rather, the parts of my work that interests me are few and far between... and it seems I can't even get the time do to them! take this friday for example.. after like 2 weeks of little to nil communication, I get an email that this client wants something to show by monday... except I haven't worked on this ish in like forever.. someone else was actually filling in content and such so it was officially not part of my workload.. but I said sure.. I'll work on it over the weekend.. what i thought would take 2 days max has now snowballed into a 4 day feat! It's unbelievable... today is monday I sent an email saying MAYBE tuesday afternoon.. shit! This project WAS exciting at first.. it was my frist paid project actually so I was actually quite emotionally attached to it at first.. but that all died this weekend.. I can't wait to get rid of this ish!! I wish it'd be done already so I can get some fucking time to chill. I'm thinking I'm having stress symptoms man... I'm working too hard.
That being said.... I'm off to sleep.
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