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Monday, September 30, 2002 | lol you've gotta love these people.
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Sunday, September 29, 2002 | I'm living everyday like a hustle
Another job to juggle
another day another struggle.
just wanted to blog so yall knwo I'm still kickin.. barely tho. School is getting hectic.. my group is cool.. but it's like they want to be working on the project 6days a week.. eff that! it's a 3 day class so teh most I'm giving is 4 days.. no more maybe less. shit.. I've got other things to do. I took on this project two weeks ago for an acquaintance.. it's not too big actually it's pretty small I just had to adjust some things.. but I'm having my doubts about wether or not I'm gonna get paid man.. some people have 419 written all over them.. but it's all good.. we'll see how it goes down, I'm not really sweating it because I have another one that is in the works and it has me kinda excited.. we'll see how everything works out tho.
bought and watched lord of the rings last night.. like 2 and a half times.. for some reason it's lost some of it's initial appeal..not much.. but enough.. although I did notice a few things I hadn't noticed when I saw it in teh theatres.. I guess part duex is on the way... I already have my date for that hehe
saturday night: ouccccccch!! I saw the sweeeeeeetest ivory-white escalade.. one of those rides all chromed out, rimmed, tinted up whips that make u say "daaaamn!!". I almost tripped over myself trying to see who was mackin' soooo hard.. with the windows all tinted but boi I'll find out who he is..!! but on the real, the car had whip effect.
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Saturday, September 21, 2002 | it's 2:57am... just walked in form am midnight movie I am so tired. my inner yoda is saying "go to sleep. you must".. I have an 8:30am class.. 5hrs of sleep? kai! whatever posssessed me to take a 4 hour saturday class I will never know. I just hope I wake up on time..... *yawn* actually I'll be happy if I wake up before the class is over.. *yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn* and it's an accounting class too.. may the force be with me *yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn* damn! I'm goin' to sleep!!
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Friday, September 20, 2002 | "you can't say water enough" this was oprah ealier tonight. She had bono from U2 on her show talking about debt relief to african nations. I had to put everything I was doing down to focus on the message this show was trying to send.. and for about 50 minutes they talked about Bono's life, about his trip with chris tucker, why he is so passionate about the depravity in africa ( myriad of topics ranging from HIV/AIDS to lack of education and of course the abundant corruption ). I respect everything he said. I am sure I noted a deep respect for africans and africa... not that patronizing tone some people try to cover up with compassion.. anyway that's another blog but I wanted to blog about what they said 50minutes into the show... the importance of water... you can't say water enough.
I was back home earlier this year, and even though I was in the city where water is readily available, I couldn't drink a single drop of it. everything I did was via bottled water. I brushed my teeth with water that was bottled, I couldn't drink any bottled drinks because they couldnt be trusted.. it's very interesting. Even with this inconvinience I was very lucky to even have it there. As it said on the show, some people have to walk for miles and miles just to get dirty water.. this is their livlihood this is what will sustain their families and water crops. You know it's easy to sit and type all this but to be honest it affected me deeply because I could relate to the not having water thing.
All while I was thinking about this, watching the show and reminiscing about my experiences in naija, I think about how many people are always talking about bringing the internet to africa, bringing ATM machines an technology. But what about water? it's the scariest thing in the world when something you take for granted for greanted is such a precious commodity.. and how arrogant of us to sit and talk about bringing technology to a continent where there is no food, no education, and no water it's a jarring thing. It just makes me shudder and I feel so small and insignificant.. I'm not saying I feel tiny.. but I feel insignificant in the way you feel when you put your foot in you mouth. To be thinking about money and internet and ATM's and e-banking and big business and political elections when there are people struggling for a single drop of water. Makes me put things in perspective as to what should really take precedence. I just can't say water enough.
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Wednesday, September 18, 2002 | *belly laughs I got reading the village voice today*
A blond and her boyfriend are watching the six o'clock news, which shows someone contemplating a suicide leap from a window. "I'll bet you a blowjob that he does it," quoth the man. "Um, OK," shrugs the woman. Screams of horror come from the television, the boyfriend grins, and the blond gets on her knees. "No, don't," he says, backing up guiltily, "I already saw this on the five o'clock news." So—get this!—the blond responds: "Me, too. I didn't think he would jump again."
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Monday, September 16, 2002 | I was talking with a friend of mine at school today. She had applied for the co-op work semester earlier in september and she was looking to see the status of who got in.. I thought that was a cool thing and although I'd missed the deadline I asked her abou it anyway. she said it wasn't nothing to brag about that most of the jobs are $8 or so.. I had to laugh.. $8...? I can pick up garbage for more than that! hmm! she laughed, she said it's okay since it's for the experience and a job for/with school so u know.. but I still wasn't too impressed.. I mean I haven't worked for $8 in a good while. To make matters worse like these cheap excuses for employers should know that $8 is barely enough to make ends meet.. what do they even expect for $8. Like at the mall $8 means you fold clothes. sweep and close up.. you don't need any qulaitifactions to do that... but after being in school for howvever long they will be expecting code and stuff for $8..? wharra heck!!
I hurt my foot yesterday... and I think I hurt someone's feelings too but in my own defense they were being way to cocky for my liking...
I want this movie
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Sunday, September 15, 2002 | I've made a decision to get back into my healthy lifestyle again. lol I kinda fell off the band wagon for a bit but hey better late than never. I didn't totally give it up but lately since I've been in charge of so much more, I feel like it's the next natural step. To becoming who I want me to be.... it's complicated I guess.I also liked how I felt when I didn't eat bad food, when I was lifting and walking. It just felt right.. but it did take a lot of effort and time. It was a huge commitment and I admit didn't live up to it. But I want to start doing it again and realistically make it work for me so it's less of a commitment and more of a lifestyle.
Since I finished my last project I've been feeling very bored. I log on to my compurra and I realize I have nothing to do! This is jarring. So, lately I've come to understand what kind of person I am ( right now ). I have to have something to work on.. something to keep me busy something to be involved in and to worry about and think about something to occupy my mind's space. I'm not saying I have nothing to do.. quite the contrary ( tho I don't do most of them lol ) but I want soemthing I'm passionate about. Not just another chore or 'thing-to-do'. So, lately ( last day or two ) I've gone throuhg that whole relief phase and then I start right away looking for something else to do. to get absorbed in, to adopt into my daily curriculum. I'd rather do something that will be of benefit and will stimulate me and help me grow in the way I want to. To develop myself as a person.. so I've taken up a long time challenge/dream/fear/goal of mine. It's the hard core stuff but I have so much creative energy right now it could burn a hole through my chest. I've been reading abou it, thinking about it even more than 'him' lol isn''t that sad... promise me you won't repeat that.
I also jumped in head first into my job hunting thingy. I am drawing up my resume. I don't really want to have to work too hard making it up but I think I have to create two by the looks of it. One for what I went to school for nd the other for what I wouldn't 'mind' doing. That is my back up plan but I'll be focusing more on the big one since I don't want to start off on the wrong foot. my first real job is going to shape me in so many ways I really don't want to be at a shitty dead end job.. I want somewhere where I will grow and develop. somewhere to challenge and excite me instead of a job where I just 'do' what I've known how to do and what I've done a million times over. I'm really looking forward to the future and all the possibilities... it just seems so.... INFINITE.
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Saturday, September 14, 2002 | Happy Birthday B!!!
I hope you're having fun this weekend... I doubt you'll see this till monday.. I can't wait to hear the gist.
so many birthdays coming up really. two left in spetember.. three people but on two days. I better get a calling card soon. It's hard to keep up and I have to mentaly tell myself to remember to remember that there are birthdays to remember.... hum. B's was the easiest though since his is very similar to mine.. too much in common.
it's 6:30am.. I have a class in two hours. from 8 to like noon... oh, the joy.... I can hardly contain it.
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Friday, September 13, 2002 | I'm done one project. on to the next. I actually started an ensuite project today which I'm kind exctited about. It's one of those things you tell your self should only take one day to finish. two at the max.. but end up like being 2 weeks. Well I just hope that doesn't happen to me this time. I really don't have the time for procrastination. I have been posting on the boards a ton lately and I think it's cutting into some of my production time.. hehehe probably more than a little but all work and no play makes candy....
I talked to my big sis today and things seem cool across the border. I really can't wait to go. I was thinking maybe new years? lol.. we'll see this time I'm buying my ticket before I even start getting exctied abou ish. I didn't go to school tonight.. very very bad thing I know. I really need to buckle down and do the damn thing. I can't wait to finish but it's like I wish I was finished already! I stay up for so many hours trying to finish these side projects and then I make it back up by letting school slide a little bit and that is so not cool. especially since this is an inception project.. we'll be doing it from start to finish including documentation, coding, uml, everything! it's exciting and at the same time a bit dauting.. but I'm a big girl.
I still want to do this interview thingy... I just need the right person.... I have an idea who I want.. but I doubt he would do it in a million years. he probably hates me. If I do twist arms it would be in the treats section..
did I blog yet about what a great site this is? It's one of those poetically written blogs.. I really enjoy reading. plus the coding and design is 2 tight.. she signed my book too isn't that sweet? shes the newest site in the links section. There aren't many there I know but you have to know how exciting it is to find a quality blog that you can read and nod you head... it's rare trust me. speaking of writing, my post yesterday makes me miss writing poetry... I miss the 2 ways... yea I really do.
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Thursday, September 12, 2002 | It must be the candy
Don't you think?
Makes me think
For one spicy second
to go to work on that boy
that he might taste the rainbow
lip curling, toe clenching
salivating, sweet yet sour
lip smacking allure
that is...
candy
yes I think it might be the candy... I wrote this for someone tonight. tonight is his night... his candy high
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Wednesday, September 11, 2002 | I hope the media doesn't belittle the importance of remembering what happened one year ago today. Everyone is sick of hearing about it. Not that I think people don't care.. but if they are anything like me they want a quiet solace... and not a barrage of in you face patriotism.
my thoughts are with the public servants, civilians that lost their lives a year ago. I hope this is the worst we ever see.
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Tuesday, September 10, 2002 | "What is man's life for? What pleasure is there in it? Is it for beauty and riches? Is it for sound and colour? But there comes a time when beauty and riches no longer answer the needs of the heart, and when a surfeit of sound and colour becomes a weariness to the eyes and a ringing in the ears.
The five colours blind the eye.
The five tones deafen the ear.
The five flavours dull the taste.
Racing and hunting madden the mind.
Precious things lead one astray.
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Sunday, September 08, 2002 | it was the best of times
it was the worst of times
I wake up hit my shoe box.
snatch out a few rocks
I've got money schemes
thet come to me in my dreams
that's right! blueprint2... the countdown is on..
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Thursday, September 05, 2002 | Time: 1:40am
Mood: pensive
school
him
money
disks
school
clothes
shoes
sandals
winter
jacket
money
toronto
newspaper ads
phone cards
business cards
birthday cards
credit cards
calling cards
bills bills bills
web sites
student services
resume
school
money
him....
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Wednesday, September 04, 2002 | Lyrics to sometimes bilal.
Sometimes
Bilal
[Intro]
Sometimes
.
.
Sometimes, wish I knew the truth without search
Sometimes, I wish I could go where I never been
See what I never saw, do what I never did
Or walk before I could crawl
.
Sometimes, I wish I had breakfast in bed
Sometimes, I mean it's worth it
Since I did all the work last night
Sometimes, you ain't good to me, yes
I am good to you
And you don't see my attention the way that I do
Sometimes, wish I knew life with no pain, yeah
Wish I held the keys to this game
Sometimes, I pretend cuz I'm afraid to be, afriad to be
Sometimes, I hope I live to see twenty five
Sometimes, I wish I could be like Moses
Round up my people, move out the ghetto
And live a better life
Sometimes, I wish I didn't try so hard
Sometimes, who knows truth any way
They don't know nothing, who needs that approval
The sun in your hands player
Move at your own pace, listen to your own mind
Do your own thing, yeah yeah
I'm saying it because I love ya
And I wanna grow with you, yeah yeah
But you wanna run in the other direction
So I got to stay on my path until I win
I win, I win, I win
I wanna win, I wanna win, I wanna win, I wanna win
Oh sometimes, sing it with me I wish
(I wish in love) And I wish, oh I wish
(I wish in peace) Oh sometimes
(I wish in hope) I wish hope
(I wish true) I wish true
(I wish clearly) Hey I wish so clearly sometimes
(Wish with no fear) I wish with no fear
(I have no fear) I have no fear
(Have no doubt) I have no doubt
(I don't doubt) I don't doubt
(Have no doubt) No, I don't doubt
(Have no doubt, I wish love)
I wish love, hey hey
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Tuesday, September 03, 2002 | I'm just plain ol' irritable today. Actually it started last night. I hate being fucking broke. my bullshit account is in overdraft... and my patience is bankrupt.Honestly! I'm incapable of stretching my patience to accomodate people's unending procrastination and all they want to feed me is b.s.
Not only am I irritated at the world I'm mad at myself because I have to finish a site and it's taking too freaking long. Could it be possible that I am being too picky? Am I my own worst enemy? I don't feel bad to beat myself up.. sometimes I need the motivation, but sometimes I"m just sick and tired of pushing myself. I'm mad taht I didn't go on vacation because of this project and I'll be more mad if all this sacrifice doesn't pay off.
It could be my little sisters attitude, I"m sick of teenage angst and frankly I could do without it. There should be a quiet time or some time ( i.e. after 10pm ) where all attitutes must be turned off. No seriously.. enough is enough.
Or maybe it's because it's september and I'm not quite through with August yet? Nobody really cares though, and on they move to september while I was sleeping on August 31st! What crap! So I call my program coordinator this morning, he is nice to me and doesn't yell as he usually does when I call him and the only reason is because "it's not his problem/dept" so I have to call the registrar's office.. don't they know I'm just trying to graduate? Anyway so I got that sorted out but this chick at the registrars office wanted me to drive 20minutes to school just to walk one sheet of paper from one department to another. I think not. I'm like can't you just call them and request a fax or ask them to send it through inter-ofice mail (by foot).. she's like "I guess" but that I'd have to call her back (on the main line which takes 15minutes to even get through )just to let her know I've spoken with them.. I'm like "well, can't you just take the information down now and do it when you get the sheet of paper from them?" she's like "ok".. wtf? people are so damn lazy. So I call the other office and spoke to a nice lady and she said she'll walk it over to "Jessica" in the registrar's office since it's just next door.. next fucking door!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!! I would have wasted a good hour just driving to school, waiting in two different lines just to save one person from walking next door? damn! to make matters worse, after all of this, I go and check my mail only to find the sheet of paper that they needed. so I still have to go back ther either tonight or tomorrow morning! what a joke!
I'm thinking of my friend in portugal, I'm thinking how lucky she is to have a break. I'm thinking I need to do some business asap so that I too can take off and "runaway" like cherokee.... or maybe an dissappear on an "escapade" like Janet..but right now the only song I'm singing is "if I could go" like Angie Martinez...
Anyway, just felt like venting.... I have to get back to work.
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